Lucky
Author: MeiranE-Mail: chang_meiran@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Not mine. If Gundam Wing was mine, I'd be marketing the boys and not the mechs.
Warnings/Author's Notes: There's boys in here. And some of them aren't just being friendly. But don't worry, it also won't corrupt minors. PG at the absolute most.
It was a Monday when my lover told me
never pay the reaper with love only
What could I say to you except I love you
and I'd give my life for yours
Heero heard the rustle of the covers before he was awake enough to feel the movement of the person laying beside him. A small sound came from his right, and the head that rested on his shoulder tossed suddenly. Heero was instantly wide awake, knowing what was happening and reacting on instinct.
Duo muttered in his sleep, his words unclear but his emotion shining through. His face was twisted in pain and his eyes were sqeezed shut so tightly that they had started to water. Heero slowly pulled his arm from under Duo's head, he pushed back the brown hair that was sticking to the sweat on Duo's forehead.
A frown crossed both of their faces, and Heero slowly sat up, turning slightly to keep an eye on Duo. He reached out and shook him ever so slightly, trying to wake him gently.
As always, he was not gentle enough, he never would be. Duo woke screaming, eyes wide with pain and anguish. Slowly his vision focused and he saw Heero's form leaning over him. Heero reached out and pulled the boy to him, trying to show what he could not say.
He could not take Duo's nightmares away, anymore than Duo could take his. Almost nightly they went through this routine, one or the other waking to the others tossing and turning. Duo was asleep again almost instantly, curled in Heero's arms. But the sweat remained on his face, and the uncharacteristic frown had not left. Heero pulled him closer, hoping to stop any more dreams before they came.
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
here.
Heero looked down at his lover, recalling something Duo had told him one night when he had lulled Heero back to sleep from a nightmare.
"I know it's hard, but we're supposed to look on the bright side, ne? At least we lived through it. That which does not kill us..."
Heero had nodded off before he could hear the end of the proverb. But he already knew what it said, Dr. J had quoted it at him often. "...makes us stronger."
But were they stronger for all that they had survived?
Remember the time we made love in the roses
and you took my picture in all sorts of poses
how could I ever get over you?
when I'd give my life for yours
Zechs woke with a start, and blinked to rid his eyes of the vision in his dream. They had been in the garden, talking of old times and thinking of how close they had been.
Then Treize had turned to look at him, and his smile faded only slightly. He reached out one gloved hand, lifting Zech's chin slightly. "I have missed you my friend."
And Zechs turned his back on him.
Somehow, in a way that can only happen in dreams, he could see the look of pain and dissapoint that crossed Treize's face as he walked away. That was the face that haunted him now.
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
here.
Zechs ducked his head into his hands, once again playing the scene of his friend's death in his mind. He had not witnessed it, he had been to wrapped up in his own problems to have paid much attention to the sacrifice Treize had made. But he had a clear picture of what the fight must have been like. How Treize would have spoken eloquently to his enemy until his death.
Something Zechs had never been as talented at. Zechs sighed and reached to turn on the lamp at his bedside table. For the millionth time he tried to figure out why he had not been given the same fate. Why was he allowed to survive?
It's time to say
thank god for you
thank god for you
in each and every single way
Quatre woke to the sound of rain, falling hard on the roof of Trowa's small metal trailer. He untangled himself from the lanky pilot and slipped to the window to watch the rainfall. He watched quietly, remembering before the war, when his father would tell him not to go outside in the rain, with a knowing grin on his face. Quatre always ran outside then, revelling in the feeling of the warm drops on his face and body. His father always stood at the window and smiled, calling for him to come in before he caught cold.
Quatre jumped as an arm circled his waist. He turned to see Trowa's green eyes watching him with interest. Quatre leaned back against him, taking comfort in Trowa's warmth. Then he smiled and pulled away.
Trowa looked at him, a worried look crossing his face. But Quatre smiled and ran to the door, flinging it open and jumping outside into a puddle. The blond turned and grinned, water cascading down his face.
Trowa watched from the doorway, smiling at the childlike Arabian. Quatre spun, arms flung out to catch more water as it fell from the sky. He looked back to Trowa and smiled sweetly. Walking over to him, he held up a rainsoaked palm and nodded his head, silently asking Trowa to join him.
Slowly, Trowa stepped out. Quatre pulled and wrapped his arms around him again, and the water fell around them. Quatre shivered slightly, and Trowa pulled him even closer. Then they looked at each other for a long moment before leaning together and sharing a very tender kiss.
I know
I know
I know
I know
Quatre pulled away slowly, and rested his head on Trowa's shoulder. The taller boy pulled him tighter, and wrapped his arms around the blond's shoulders. Quatre opened his eyes slightly, and could barely make out the curve of Trowa's shoulder in the dim light, and could see Trowa's fingers curled over his own shoulder. The pale skin shown in the moonlight.
They had lived. He didn't know how, and he could only think that it was divine intervention that had allowed both the boys to live so that they could be together.
It's time to let you know
time to let you know
time to let you know
time to sit here and say
Wufei woke with a start. He thought he had heard a sound at his window, but as he rose he saw there was nothing there but moonlight. He opened the windowpane, leaning out into the night air. The faint scent of flowers made its way into his senses.
He sank to his knees, arms still leaned on the window sill. His hair fell loose about his shoulders, and his eyes blurred with emotion.
"I know that I never said it aloud, but I know you could tell what I was thinking. That I wish I could have died with you, that I could have avoided all this bloodshed and pointless fighting." Wufei put his head into his hands. He could almost feel the moonlight pouring onto his shoulders.
The faint memory of her face traced it's way through his vision. He could see her frowning at him, opening her mouth to call him weak.
"The strong survive." He whispered. "That isn't true. If it were then you would be alive. And you know it, you can't argue with me. I am not Nataku, I never have been. Nataku would not allow his emotions to cloud his judgement for so long."
He looked up at the sky, watching the stars as they blinked at him with indifference. "I hunted and killed a man. I hunted and almost killed my friends. I let my need for revenge change everything. I swore to prove myself worthy of you, and maybe I did."
He thought back to his actions during the war, all of them crystal clear in his mind. "So I served the right side. At least it seemed that way to me. But that doesn't atone for the other things that I did. I thought that killing Treize would avenge you, would stop you from haunting me so. When it didn't help, when the dreams and nightmares continued... I turned to fighting again. No, the strong don't survive. The lucky ones do."
Wufei looked up at the sky again, the scent of flowers growing stronger. "I miss you Nataku, my Meiran."
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
I know we are
we are the lucky ones
I know oh we are the lucky ones
here.
Heero slowly drifted off, the sounds of Duo's even breathing his lullaby. He pulled his lover closer, and used his warmth as a security blanket. They would start fresh again tomorrow, as they always did. And hope that tomorrow night they would sleep.
Zechs turned out his light, putting away the book he had been reading. The words had long since become meaningless, but the comfort of having something in his hand while he thought had been all he needed. He pulled his blankets around him again, and closed his eyes.
Trowa smiled at the sleeping blond who was curled around him. Trowa's clothes hung strangly on Quatre, and his hair began to dry and curl ever so slightly. Trowa looked over at the window, where they had hung their wet clothing when they had come inside. The sound of the rain lulled him to sleep moments later.
Wufei lay in bed, his eyes closed, his breathing even. He was at the edge of sleep, the place where her memory usually woke him. He willed himself to concentrate and slowly drifted into a dreaming state.
"Hey scholar boy..." a small whisper wove it's way across the room. Wufei didn't move or wake.
"You always were a deep sleeper...Oyasumi. Sleep well from now on, My Wufei." A small gust of wind swept across Wufei's face, and he absently pulled up his blankets in his sleep.
Here, Here, we are the lucky ones here.
The End
:: Prose :: Poetry :: Novels :: Fanfiction :: About :: Home ::
Midnight Musings copyright Meiran. Layout and Design by Cyn W.
Brought to you by :: Cerulean Dreame :: Erised Designs ::